I know, I know, where have I been? I've been waiting, just like you. Waiting for my mouth to completely heal up, waiting to put on a few lbs., and waiting for the results of my pet-scan. Well, today, the doc called me to let me know that the scan showed me to be clear of cancer. Hallelujah!!!! Needless to say, it made my day. Although it was not really a surprise that I was clear, it was just necessary to hear it from the doc. My mouth and throat took a turn for the worse about 2 weeks ago. I guess it's not unusual for that to happen. Until all the chemo and radiation are clear from my system, things can revert, but I'm still able to eat, and eat a lot I might add, but still not gaining weight. They told me that is normal also, but to watch out, because in a couple of weeks I may have to cut back on my intake when my system starts to normalize. That's OK with me, because it's really a lot of work to eat the way I've had to. I'm going to keep this part short, however, I'd like to share the dream I had a week ago. God Bless you all and thank you for your continued prayers.
Old Jer
THE DREAM April 2, 2009
On Mon. afternoon March 31st I received a call from Jeff Cate, inquiring if his home group could meet at our house at 6pm on Wed. April 1st and pray for me regarding the scan I will be having on Mon. April 6th. I had shared that with Jeff at church on Sunday, and considering the fact that he had recently had a scan that showed him cancer free, I appreciated his desire to bless me with prayer from his newly formed men’s group.
One by one, the men filed into our living room. There were seven men and Gaven, Jeff’s oldest son. We had a sweet time of fellowship before I shared exactly what was going on with me and about the upcoming scan. It was a very comfortable time since I considered each man there a friend.
I sat in our comfy little Hawaiian rocker and they gathered around me, laid hands on me, anointed me with oil and began to pray. There were many requests made unto the Lord. The Holy Spirit was asked to show up and He did not disappoint. One of the requests that I specifically remembered was one of the men asked the Lord to give me a vision, a dream about the scan. We ended about 7pm and they headed out to their small group meeting and Kat and I headed out to ours.
We arrived back home a little after 10:30pm. Our group ran a little longer than usual. Of course, I went straight to bed.
Now understand, I am not one who has spiritual type dreams or visions, in fact the only vision I’ve ever had was regarding a stoppage in our sewer pipe 25 years ago. The Lord showed me in a dream the exact location and what the stoppage was. I cut open the pipe and pulled out a 4 foot tree root, patched it up and never had a sewer problem again.
Well, last night was definitely different. I do dream quite frequently, however, they usually are either nonsensical or just kind of crazy, like where did that come from? I was sitting in a seat outside of a type of arena. It had a wooden floor and was about the size of a hockey rink. Sprinkled on the floor was a substance like the mixture of sand and sawdust and people were seated around the arena. My seat was at one end and there was a man sitting next to me explaining what was going on. I never saw his face. Suddenly at the opposite end of the arena there appeared a machine, very similar to a zamboni, except there was a small plow mounted on the front. There were flames, about one foot high shooting up in front of the machine, and the driver would plow the sandy material and extinguish the flames as he worked his way to the end of the arena. The man seated next to me explained that this represented a cancer scan and if all the flames are extinguished when the machine reaches the end of the arena that person would be cancer free. This run was for someone else, but I didn’t know who. The machine got to the end of the arena, where a goal might be, and all the flames were gone and there was an announcement over the PA system, CANCER FREE! And everyone applauded with joy. Now it was time for my scan and the machine started out again at the other end of the arena and was working it’s way toward the goal. Flames were being extinguished along the way and it was looking good. When it got to my end of the arena the machine was having trouble keeping the flames under control and just before the machine got to the goal the driver jumped off the machine and grabbed what looked like a half sheet of plywood and began to scrape the sandy material onto the flames, he was working really fast and finally the last flame was extinguished. Suddenly there was complete silence and the lights went out. I didn’t know what to think, then a very authoritative voice, not from the PA system, said very distinctly, “THERE IS NO CANCER IN THIS MAN.” I immediately woke up and I knew God had answered that prayer.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
IT'S GOOD TO BE SEEN
Well, it's good to be weaning myself back into everyday life. Getting out and about, on my own has really been a treat. As I make my tracks back to the usual establishments that I frequent, I keep running into people I know and haven't seen for some time. Their usual response is how are you doing? and it's good to see you. My usual response is, I'm doing good and it's good to be seen. I really mean both statements. I am doing good. My mouth and throat are continuing to heal and my strength is coming back little by little. The mucous problem is history now and if I were to put a percentage on it, my saliva is probably at about 50% right now, good enough to eat almost anything except hot spicy. The only problem I have right now is putting on weight if that is really a problem. I just need to get my muscle loss back and I know that will just take time. In case you're wondering, I eat like a pig. That is, I eat everything I can, as much as I can, whenever I can. I know it sounds weird, but I eat 6 meals a day and I'm still not gaining weight, but I am holding a pretty steady weight. The radiation is still in my system and probably some chemo too and we feel that when my system is clear of that junk things will start normalizing again. Oh yeah, one little thing, Mr. G-tube is now history, gone, no more. HOORAY!!!! The cool thing is, where the tube once was, now sports a little round scar. It looks like I was shot with a 22 cal. bullet. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
When someone says it's good to see you, you have no idea how good that makes me feel. I am truly blessed to be seen.
I had my appointment with the radiation doc on Mon. He was surprised that I could eat so well. Well, with all the prayer I have received for this, it really is no surprise, is it? He said the next step will be the pet-scan in about 2 weeks. That will show if there is any cancer still hanging out in my body, and of course, there isn't.
That's the area where the enemy likes to play games in my head, you know, the doubts of whether or not the treatment was effective and is God really listening to all this prayer people are sending up to Him. Then I'm reminded of the story in the book of Mark. "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."
The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. I find myself asking the Lord many times each day to help me overcome my unbelief, because I do believe.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Love.
Old Jer
When someone says it's good to see you, you have no idea how good that makes me feel. I am truly blessed to be seen.
I had my appointment with the radiation doc on Mon. He was surprised that I could eat so well. Well, with all the prayer I have received for this, it really is no surprise, is it? He said the next step will be the pet-scan in about 2 weeks. That will show if there is any cancer still hanging out in my body, and of course, there isn't.
That's the area where the enemy likes to play games in my head, you know, the doubts of whether or not the treatment was effective and is God really listening to all this prayer people are sending up to Him. Then I'm reminded of the story in the book of Mark. "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."
The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. I find myself asking the Lord many times each day to help me overcome my unbelief, because I do believe.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Love.
Old Jer
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A BANNER DAY !!!!
It's been 19 days since my last treatment and I am feeling really good. A week ago Monday, I woke up and I knew something was different. The thing that was different was I had this energy that I hadn't had for several months and I felt like doing a project at the house. I started on this cement slab I had been wanting to raise up 4 inches because through the years it had settled and had actually become hazardous. Now I had all this energy, but the strenght and endurance just wasn't all there, so I took a lot of breaks. Well, every day since then has just gotten better. Believe me, the strength and endurance still have a long way to go, but it's much better, and yes I was successful raising the concrete slab.
You know how I talked about things I missed during my treatment, like food and doing the things I like to do like cycling, surfing and disc golf and I decided that the thing that I missed the most was not seeing my friends and enjoying the relationships I have made from church. Well, this past week I realized one more thing that I missed and that is, I MISS MYSELF, and it pleases me to no end to announce that I'm back, not 100%, but I'm working on it.
What do I need prayer for? Well, as I already told you, I am generally feeling really good, however the mouth and throat are still an issue, but they are improving slightly, maybe better than slightly. I drank almost a quart of water by mouth yesterday, I had a scrambled egg with cheese and some potatoes for breakfast, then Kat and I split a breakfast burrito for lunch, I didn't do the tortilla, and then I had half of a chicken pocket from Costco. Actually I had what was inside the pocket, and I'm happy to report that it all tasted good. The taste buds are still functioning pretty well. Praise the Lord! However, my mouth and throat are still pretty sore and the mucous is still a problem, but they are getting better.
How could it get any better? Well, this morning I ate 2 fried eggs (over easy) and potatoes with cheese and a dash of Mrs. Renfros green salsa. It was soooo good. I had an appointment with the radiation doc this afternoon and basically he feels the tumor is gone, but he wants to do more thorough testing in 2 weeks when my mouth has healed more. He feels that he won't find anything. Kat and I left his office feeling really encouraged especially when he looked into my mouth and said it looked like nothing had happened in there and that there was quite a bit of saliva. Thank you prayer warriors. I know beyond a doubt that our God answers prayer. Listen to this, it just gets better. Kat, Josh and I then played a round of disc golf at a course in Irvine. Did I mention that my girlfriend got a hole in one? We were thoroughly impressed. Then, on the way home we stopped at In and Out and you got it, I ate a cheeseburger, protein style, that's with no bun, wrapped in lettuce, and it was delicious. I still have to wash each bite down with a little water, but, hey, at this point, who cares. Yes, it was a banner day. Now, pray that I can put on 5lbs by March 16th, because I made a deal with the doc that if I can do that , Mr G-tube will be history. Yes, I finished the whole plate, and it was good. Psalm 20:5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.
Thank You, and imagine a great big hug from skinny ole me,
Old Jer
You know how I talked about things I missed during my treatment, like food and doing the things I like to do like cycling, surfing and disc golf and I decided that the thing that I missed the most was not seeing my friends and enjoying the relationships I have made from church. Well, this past week I realized one more thing that I missed and that is, I MISS MYSELF, and it pleases me to no end to announce that I'm back, not 100%, but I'm working on it.
What do I need prayer for? Well, as I already told you, I am generally feeling really good, however the mouth and throat are still an issue, but they are improving slightly, maybe better than slightly. I drank almost a quart of water by mouth yesterday, I had a scrambled egg with cheese and some potatoes for breakfast, then Kat and I split a breakfast burrito for lunch, I didn't do the tortilla, and then I had half of a chicken pocket from Costco. Actually I had what was inside the pocket, and I'm happy to report that it all tasted good. The taste buds are still functioning pretty well. Praise the Lord! However, my mouth and throat are still pretty sore and the mucous is still a problem, but they are getting better.
How could it get any better? Well, this morning I ate 2 fried eggs (over easy) and potatoes with cheese and a dash of Mrs. Renfros green salsa. It was soooo good. I had an appointment with the radiation doc this afternoon and basically he feels the tumor is gone, but he wants to do more thorough testing in 2 weeks when my mouth has healed more. He feels that he won't find anything. Kat and I left his office feeling really encouraged especially when he looked into my mouth and said it looked like nothing had happened in there and that there was quite a bit of saliva. Thank you prayer warriors. I know beyond a doubt that our God answers prayer. Listen to this, it just gets better. Kat, Josh and I then played a round of disc golf at a course in Irvine. Did I mention that my girlfriend got a hole in one? We were thoroughly impressed. Then, on the way home we stopped at In and Out and you got it, I ate a cheeseburger, protein style, that's with no bun, wrapped in lettuce, and it was delicious. I still have to wash each bite down with a little water, but, hey, at this point, who cares. Yes, it was a banner day. Now, pray that I can put on 5lbs by March 16th, because I made a deal with the doc that if I can do that , Mr G-tube will be history. Yes, I finished the whole plate, and it was good. Psalm 20:5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.
Thank You, and imagine a great big hug from skinny ole me,
Old Jer
Sunday, February 22, 2009
GROUNDHOG DAY REVISITED
Remember the movie Groundhog Day? It's about a guy who wakes up to the same newscast and the same experiences every day. Well, my life has been similar to that movie for quite a while now, at least it seems that way. I guess I'm just ready for the movie to end.
It has been 9 days since my last treatment and well, to be perfectly honest, it looks like the doctors were right again. You know I hate it when that happens, even though they aren't completely right yet, the effects of the radiation seem to keep on happening. At about 2pm every afternoon, my face gets flushed and I get hot and then cold just like when I was having treatments. I was told that this could last 2 to 3 weeks. My mouth and throat actually got worse last week, however, my general feeling is much better. The nausea has pretty much disappeared, my neck is healing up nicely and my weight is holding steady. I have to take in about 90 ozs. of fluid each day just to stay hydrated, that's a whole lot more than I'm use to drinking, but it's working. That should improve once the mucosas subsides. Let's just say, that's when I have to spit a lot. I feel really fortunate that I have been able to sleep really good. All in all, I'm looking forward to this next week. Things are looking up.
Quick story: Last Thursday Kat baked some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for Donovan's 30Th birthday, and did they smell gooood. So I had this great idea because I really wanted to just taste a cookie. Since I can't eat cookies, or any thing else right now, I thought if I just ground the cookie up in the blender with some milk I would be able to taste COOKIE. Well, it worked, kind of. I poured a small portion of the concoction into a glass and I took a swallow and it tasted like cookie, but it burned like crazy and I had to quickly wash it down with plain water, but it was worth it.
I wake up each morning to this wonderful song by Crystal Lewis. It's entitled "Lord I Believe In You." It's the best part of my Groundhog Day experience. This is the part that has really been ministering to me.
Lord I believe in you, I’ll always believe in you
Though I can’t see you with my eyes,
Deep in my heart your presence I find
Lord I believe in you, and I’ll keep my trust in you
Let the whole world say what they may
No one can take this joy away
Lord I believe.
Thank you everyone for your constant prayers and support. There is a light beaming at the end of the tunnel. He is my constant companion.
Lots of love and hugs,
Old Jer
It has been 9 days since my last treatment and well, to be perfectly honest, it looks like the doctors were right again. You know I hate it when that happens, even though they aren't completely right yet, the effects of the radiation seem to keep on happening. At about 2pm every afternoon, my face gets flushed and I get hot and then cold just like when I was having treatments. I was told that this could last 2 to 3 weeks. My mouth and throat actually got worse last week, however, my general feeling is much better. The nausea has pretty much disappeared, my neck is healing up nicely and my weight is holding steady. I have to take in about 90 ozs. of fluid each day just to stay hydrated, that's a whole lot more than I'm use to drinking, but it's working. That should improve once the mucosas subsides. Let's just say, that's when I have to spit a lot. I feel really fortunate that I have been able to sleep really good. All in all, I'm looking forward to this next week. Things are looking up.
Quick story: Last Thursday Kat baked some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for Donovan's 30Th birthday, and did they smell gooood. So I had this great idea because I really wanted to just taste a cookie. Since I can't eat cookies, or any thing else right now, I thought if I just ground the cookie up in the blender with some milk I would be able to taste COOKIE. Well, it worked, kind of. I poured a small portion of the concoction into a glass and I took a swallow and it tasted like cookie, but it burned like crazy and I had to quickly wash it down with plain water, but it was worth it.
I wake up each morning to this wonderful song by Crystal Lewis. It's entitled "Lord I Believe In You." It's the best part of my Groundhog Day experience. This is the part that has really been ministering to me.
Lord I believe in you, I’ll always believe in you
Though I can’t see you with my eyes,
Deep in my heart your presence I find
Lord I believe in you, and I’ll keep my trust in you
Let the whole world say what they may
No one can take this joy away
Lord I believe.
Thank you everyone for your constant prayers and support. There is a light beaming at the end of the tunnel. He is my constant companion.
Lots of love and hugs,
Old Jer
Sunday, February 15, 2009
THE LONGEST 7 WEEKS OF MY LIFE
There is no doubt about it, the past 7 weeks took at least 6 months to culminate. The only experience in my life that seemed to take longer was 8 weeks in marine boot camp, and that wasn't near as torturous, and the food wasn't half bad. Well, maybe it was half bad. Actually I gained 15 pounds in boot camp and I lost 15 pounds during this treatment. So now I guess I'm even. Oh my gosh, that was 44 years ago! Forget about it.
This past week was not an easy one for me. Not so much that I didn't feel very good, because I didn't, although I felt better than I did the previous week, I just found it really hard to get myself motivated to go to treatment for those final 5 days. Last Sun. was kind of a drag because I got really dehydrated. After tons of H2O and Gatorade I got my weight up to what it was on Fri. I have since learned that Pedialyte is the hot ticket for dehydration. I learned on Mon. that Dr. Wagner wanted to continue chemo for the final week. This was not a joyful noise to my ears, however I had already come to terms with the Lord. I told him that I would accept anything they threw at me this last week because I knew that everything had been sifted through his hands, and if the doc thought I needed it, than I probably did. Then came the scare. I walked into radiation treatment on Mon. and the tech took one look at my neck and said, "No way, you have to see the doc before I can treat you." I hadn't looked at my neck for a few hours, but what was happening was it was peeling and well, for lack of a better description, it looked very similar to my sons iguanas neck, dry and peeling. After a short discussion with the doc, he looks at me and says "Since you only have 5 days of treatment remaining I think you need to tough it out." That was sweet music to my ears. So again, thank you for all the prayers. My neck actually looked better every day thereafter.
So what happens now that treatment is over? Please continue your awesome prayers. This is where my body starts to heal from all of the abuse it received. I had a very emotional discussion with my chemo doc last Tues. He actually apologized for giving me such a radical treatment, but he felt that I could handle it and that it would be much more beneficial in my recovery. I would have said that he was just saying that to make me feel better if I didn't know that he is a cancer survivor himself. Actually the radiation keeps on working for about 2 to 3 weeks after treatment ends, so they told me not to expect any radical improvement until after that time frame. Well, I'll just have to disagree with that because I know that all things are possible with God. Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
So from now on I plan on keeping my eyes on the goal and focusing on getting my body healthy once again. Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Pressing on in love,
Old Jer
This past week was not an easy one for me. Not so much that I didn't feel very good, because I didn't, although I felt better than I did the previous week, I just found it really hard to get myself motivated to go to treatment for those final 5 days. Last Sun. was kind of a drag because I got really dehydrated. After tons of H2O and Gatorade I got my weight up to what it was on Fri. I have since learned that Pedialyte is the hot ticket for dehydration. I learned on Mon. that Dr. Wagner wanted to continue chemo for the final week. This was not a joyful noise to my ears, however I had already come to terms with the Lord. I told him that I would accept anything they threw at me this last week because I knew that everything had been sifted through his hands, and if the doc thought I needed it, than I probably did. Then came the scare. I walked into radiation treatment on Mon. and the tech took one look at my neck and said, "No way, you have to see the doc before I can treat you." I hadn't looked at my neck for a few hours, but what was happening was it was peeling and well, for lack of a better description, it looked very similar to my sons iguanas neck, dry and peeling. After a short discussion with the doc, he looks at me and says "Since you only have 5 days of treatment remaining I think you need to tough it out." That was sweet music to my ears. So again, thank you for all the prayers. My neck actually looked better every day thereafter.
So what happens now that treatment is over? Please continue your awesome prayers. This is where my body starts to heal from all of the abuse it received. I had a very emotional discussion with my chemo doc last Tues. He actually apologized for giving me such a radical treatment, but he felt that I could handle it and that it would be much more beneficial in my recovery. I would have said that he was just saying that to make me feel better if I didn't know that he is a cancer survivor himself. Actually the radiation keeps on working for about 2 to 3 weeks after treatment ends, so they told me not to expect any radical improvement until after that time frame. Well, I'll just have to disagree with that because I know that all things are possible with God. Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
So from now on I plan on keeping my eyes on the goal and focusing on getting my body healthy once again. Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Pressing on in love,
Old Jer
Saturday, February 7, 2009
TEAR DUCT MALFUNCTION
Can you believe this, Friday the 13th is my last day of treatment. Good news for me and bad luck for cancer. Dr Wagner did put me back on chemo last Tues. and it came through as usual and I felt terrible for a couple of days, but no break in treatment. The mouth is doing OK, although it feels like there's a current running through it now. Anybody need a jump start?
I believe it will make it 5 more days. My neck is peeling now, but it is also holding up well. Thank you for your prayers concerning these issues. You won't believe this, I know I can't believe it, but I am typing this with gloves on. Why am I wearing gloves, you ask? Darn good question. The truth is my hands have been freezing from the effects of the chemo, some neuro word.
I do have a strange sensation happening. I think that it is a side effect of all the drugs and radiation that they’re giving me. This one wasn’t mentioned on any of the, longer than a roll of Charmin, lists of side effects that they have given me. I think its TEAR DUCT MALFUNCTION. It seems that at any inopportune time my eyes begin to leak. When I think about people I miss, they leak. When I talk to people I love, they leak. When I talk to people I don’t even know, they leak. When I think about how wonderful my wife is, they leak. When I think about all my steadfast support, they leak. Will this side effect clear up after treatment? I don’t have an answer for that one, but I hope it improves, because sometimes it’s downright embarrassing, if you know what I mean.
I’m reminded in Luke chapter 7 of the time when Jesus was invited to the house of one of the Pharisees for dinner, when a woman who had led a sinful life found out that Jesus was going to be there. She brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Of course, she was ostracized by the Pharisee because she was a sinner. What the Pharisee didn’t know was that Jesus would use this opportune time to compare his treatment of Jesus to hers. The Pharisee didn’t even welcome Jesus with a kiss or wash his feet. Then Jesus told them, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven---for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “ Your sins are forgiven.”
These are not tears of sorrow, they are tears of gratitude, joy and thankfulness. Perhaps these tears aren’t an embarrassment after all.
Thank you Roger and Jim for the continued rides to treatment. You guys are the awesomest. I know, my girlfriend appreciates the much needed break. Thank you everyone for all the prayers and continued support.
Love and hugs,
Old Jer
I believe it will make it 5 more days. My neck is peeling now, but it is also holding up well. Thank you for your prayers concerning these issues. You won't believe this, I know I can't believe it, but I am typing this with gloves on. Why am I wearing gloves, you ask? Darn good question. The truth is my hands have been freezing from the effects of the chemo, some neuro word.
I do have a strange sensation happening. I think that it is a side effect of all the drugs and radiation that they’re giving me. This one wasn’t mentioned on any of the, longer than a roll of Charmin, lists of side effects that they have given me. I think its TEAR DUCT MALFUNCTION. It seems that at any inopportune time my eyes begin to leak. When I think about people I miss, they leak. When I talk to people I love, they leak. When I talk to people I don’t even know, they leak. When I think about how wonderful my wife is, they leak. When I think about all my steadfast support, they leak. Will this side effect clear up after treatment? I don’t have an answer for that one, but I hope it improves, because sometimes it’s downright embarrassing, if you know what I mean.
I’m reminded in Luke chapter 7 of the time when Jesus was invited to the house of one of the Pharisees for dinner, when a woman who had led a sinful life found out that Jesus was going to be there. She brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Of course, she was ostracized by the Pharisee because she was a sinner. What the Pharisee didn’t know was that Jesus would use this opportune time to compare his treatment of Jesus to hers. The Pharisee didn’t even welcome Jesus with a kiss or wash his feet. Then Jesus told them, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven---for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “ Your sins are forgiven.”
These are not tears of sorrow, they are tears of gratitude, joy and thankfulness. Perhaps these tears aren’t an embarrassment after all.
Thank you Roger and Jim for the continued rides to treatment. You guys are the awesomest. I know, my girlfriend appreciates the much needed break. Thank you everyone for all the prayers and continued support.
Love and hugs,
Old Jer
Sunday, February 1, 2009
SUPERBOWL SUNDAY
That's right, it's Superbowl Sunday and most everyone is gearing up for the big game. I was thinking how these two teams are preparing for battle. They have a head coach, assistant coaches, defensive coordinators, offensive coordinators and of course their loyal fans, all preparing for the game of games.
Guess what? I have been preparing for my game of games and I haven't been alone, I've got my team. However, I look at this battle in a little different light than the Superbowl players do. I have ten treatments remaining, that's two weeks and I'm heading into the fourth quarter and I believe that this is the time for my team to put on the full armor of God, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, however, we call it cancer. My head coach is the Lord. He gives me strength and hope and it's in him where I put my trust. I have many assistant coaches, numeral uno being my girlfriend, wife and best friend, the myriad of doctors prescribing the treatments that I've been receiving and all the nurses and technicians that have been administering the various treatments. My defensive coordinators are hard to beat. They start with the belt of truth firmly buckled around my waist, the breastplate of righteousness is in place, my feet have been fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this I've taken up the shield of faith that can extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. I have also added the helmet of salvation.
Who is the offensive coordinator? you ask. It's the sword of the Spirit, which is the mighty word of God, on which I firmly stand.
All of you, of course, are the loyal fans. Thank you for being there and thank you for your awesome prayers and support that have definitely helped sustain Kat and I through this journey.
As I begin this final phase of treatment, the doc wants to start the i.v. chemo up again on Tues. That would mean two more chemo treatments and ten radiation treatments. Pray for my mouth and throat as their condition will be paramount in completing the treatment as scheduled. My weight has been holding at about 177, so it's looking good. I haven't been too regular with this whole situation, but things have been a whole lot better since I drank some smooth move tea. That stuff really works. My neck looks like I've been out in the sun just a little too much, but hey, I've done that to myself before in the past. Tanya says that I'm now a true redneck.
Luke 12:7 says; Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Well, the numbers have decreased just a little on my head. I just thought that I'd do the Lord a favor and make it a little easier for Him to count the hairs on my head, because there are a few less in certain areas. The radiation has cut a swath across the back of my neck, so I now support a back of the head comb over. It's really not too bad, considering the alternative, and a whole lot better than Donald Trump's. Yes, we did hear from Joshua and he's having the time of his life in China with his best friend, and yes, the picture of boyfriend/girlfriend is from today.
God Bless,
Old Jer
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