I know, I know, where have I been? I've been waiting, just like you. Waiting for my mouth to completely heal up, waiting to put on a few lbs., and waiting for the results of my pet-scan. Well, today, the doc called me to let me know that the scan showed me to be clear of cancer. Hallelujah!!!! Needless to say, it made my day. Although it was not really a surprise that I was clear, it was just necessary to hear it from the doc. My mouth and throat took a turn for the worse about 2 weeks ago. I guess it's not unusual for that to happen. Until all the chemo and radiation are clear from my system, things can revert, but I'm still able to eat, and eat a lot I might add, but still not gaining weight. They told me that is normal also, but to watch out, because in a couple of weeks I may have to cut back on my intake when my system starts to normalize. That's OK with me, because it's really a lot of work to eat the way I've had to. I'm going to keep this part short, however, I'd like to share the dream I had a week ago. God Bless you all and thank you for your continued prayers.
Old Jer
THE DREAM April 2, 2009
On Mon. afternoon March 31st I received a call from Jeff Cate, inquiring if his home group could meet at our house at 6pm on Wed. April 1st and pray for me regarding the scan I will be having on Mon. April 6th. I had shared that with Jeff at church on Sunday, and considering the fact that he had recently had a scan that showed him cancer free, I appreciated his desire to bless me with prayer from his newly formed men’s group.
One by one, the men filed into our living room. There were seven men and Gaven, Jeff’s oldest son. We had a sweet time of fellowship before I shared exactly what was going on with me and about the upcoming scan. It was a very comfortable time since I considered each man there a friend.
I sat in our comfy little Hawaiian rocker and they gathered around me, laid hands on me, anointed me with oil and began to pray. There were many requests made unto the Lord. The Holy Spirit was asked to show up and He did not disappoint. One of the requests that I specifically remembered was one of the men asked the Lord to give me a vision, a dream about the scan. We ended about 7pm and they headed out to their small group meeting and Kat and I headed out to ours.
We arrived back home a little after 10:30pm. Our group ran a little longer than usual. Of course, I went straight to bed.
Now understand, I am not one who has spiritual type dreams or visions, in fact the only vision I’ve ever had was regarding a stoppage in our sewer pipe 25 years ago. The Lord showed me in a dream the exact location and what the stoppage was. I cut open the pipe and pulled out a 4 foot tree root, patched it up and never had a sewer problem again.
Well, last night was definitely different. I do dream quite frequently, however, they usually are either nonsensical or just kind of crazy, like where did that come from? I was sitting in a seat outside of a type of arena. It had a wooden floor and was about the size of a hockey rink. Sprinkled on the floor was a substance like the mixture of sand and sawdust and people were seated around the arena. My seat was at one end and there was a man sitting next to me explaining what was going on. I never saw his face. Suddenly at the opposite end of the arena there appeared a machine, very similar to a zamboni, except there was a small plow mounted on the front. There were flames, about one foot high shooting up in front of the machine, and the driver would plow the sandy material and extinguish the flames as he worked his way to the end of the arena. The man seated next to me explained that this represented a cancer scan and if all the flames are extinguished when the machine reaches the end of the arena that person would be cancer free. This run was for someone else, but I didn’t know who. The machine got to the end of the arena, where a goal might be, and all the flames were gone and there was an announcement over the PA system, CANCER FREE! And everyone applauded with joy. Now it was time for my scan and the machine started out again at the other end of the arena and was working it’s way toward the goal. Flames were being extinguished along the way and it was looking good. When it got to my end of the arena the machine was having trouble keeping the flames under control and just before the machine got to the goal the driver jumped off the machine and grabbed what looked like a half sheet of plywood and began to scrape the sandy material onto the flames, he was working really fast and finally the last flame was extinguished. Suddenly there was complete silence and the lights went out. I didn’t know what to think, then a very authoritative voice, not from the PA system, said very distinctly, “THERE IS NO CANCER IN THIS MAN.” I immediately woke up and I knew God had answered that prayer.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
IT'S GOOD TO BE SEEN
Well, it's good to be weaning myself back into everyday life. Getting out and about, on my own has really been a treat. As I make my tracks back to the usual establishments that I frequent, I keep running into people I know and haven't seen for some time. Their usual response is how are you doing? and it's good to see you. My usual response is, I'm doing good and it's good to be seen. I really mean both statements. I am doing good. My mouth and throat are continuing to heal and my strength is coming back little by little. The mucous problem is history now and if I were to put a percentage on it, my saliva is probably at about 50% right now, good enough to eat almost anything except hot spicy. The only problem I have right now is putting on weight if that is really a problem. I just need to get my muscle loss back and I know that will just take time. In case you're wondering, I eat like a pig. That is, I eat everything I can, as much as I can, whenever I can. I know it sounds weird, but I eat 6 meals a day and I'm still not gaining weight, but I am holding a pretty steady weight. The radiation is still in my system and probably some chemo too and we feel that when my system is clear of that junk things will start normalizing again. Oh yeah, one little thing, Mr. G-tube is now history, gone, no more. HOORAY!!!! The cool thing is, where the tube once was, now sports a little round scar. It looks like I was shot with a 22 cal. bullet. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
When someone says it's good to see you, you have no idea how good that makes me feel. I am truly blessed to be seen.
I had my appointment with the radiation doc on Mon. He was surprised that I could eat so well. Well, with all the prayer I have received for this, it really is no surprise, is it? He said the next step will be the pet-scan in about 2 weeks. That will show if there is any cancer still hanging out in my body, and of course, there isn't.
That's the area where the enemy likes to play games in my head, you know, the doubts of whether or not the treatment was effective and is God really listening to all this prayer people are sending up to Him. Then I'm reminded of the story in the book of Mark. "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."
The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. I find myself asking the Lord many times each day to help me overcome my unbelief, because I do believe.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Love.
Old Jer
When someone says it's good to see you, you have no idea how good that makes me feel. I am truly blessed to be seen.
I had my appointment with the radiation doc on Mon. He was surprised that I could eat so well. Well, with all the prayer I have received for this, it really is no surprise, is it? He said the next step will be the pet-scan in about 2 weeks. That will show if there is any cancer still hanging out in my body, and of course, there isn't.
That's the area where the enemy likes to play games in my head, you know, the doubts of whether or not the treatment was effective and is God really listening to all this prayer people are sending up to Him. Then I'm reminded of the story in the book of Mark. "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."
The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. I find myself asking the Lord many times each day to help me overcome my unbelief, because I do believe.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Love.
Old Jer
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A BANNER DAY !!!!
It's been 19 days since my last treatment and I am feeling really good. A week ago Monday, I woke up and I knew something was different. The thing that was different was I had this energy that I hadn't had for several months and I felt like doing a project at the house. I started on this cement slab I had been wanting to raise up 4 inches because through the years it had settled and had actually become hazardous. Now I had all this energy, but the strenght and endurance just wasn't all there, so I took a lot of breaks. Well, every day since then has just gotten better. Believe me, the strength and endurance still have a long way to go, but it's much better, and yes I was successful raising the concrete slab.
You know how I talked about things I missed during my treatment, like food and doing the things I like to do like cycling, surfing and disc golf and I decided that the thing that I missed the most was not seeing my friends and enjoying the relationships I have made from church. Well, this past week I realized one more thing that I missed and that is, I MISS MYSELF, and it pleases me to no end to announce that I'm back, not 100%, but I'm working on it.
What do I need prayer for? Well, as I already told you, I am generally feeling really good, however the mouth and throat are still an issue, but they are improving slightly, maybe better than slightly. I drank almost a quart of water by mouth yesterday, I had a scrambled egg with cheese and some potatoes for breakfast, then Kat and I split a breakfast burrito for lunch, I didn't do the tortilla, and then I had half of a chicken pocket from Costco. Actually I had what was inside the pocket, and I'm happy to report that it all tasted good. The taste buds are still functioning pretty well. Praise the Lord! However, my mouth and throat are still pretty sore and the mucous is still a problem, but they are getting better.
How could it get any better? Well, this morning I ate 2 fried eggs (over easy) and potatoes with cheese and a dash of Mrs. Renfros green salsa. It was soooo good. I had an appointment with the radiation doc this afternoon and basically he feels the tumor is gone, but he wants to do more thorough testing in 2 weeks when my mouth has healed more. He feels that he won't find anything. Kat and I left his office feeling really encouraged especially when he looked into my mouth and said it looked like nothing had happened in there and that there was quite a bit of saliva. Thank you prayer warriors. I know beyond a doubt that our God answers prayer. Listen to this, it just gets better. Kat, Josh and I then played a round of disc golf at a course in Irvine. Did I mention that my girlfriend got a hole in one? We were thoroughly impressed. Then, on the way home we stopped at In and Out and you got it, I ate a cheeseburger, protein style, that's with no bun, wrapped in lettuce, and it was delicious. I still have to wash each bite down with a little water, but, hey, at this point, who cares. Yes, it was a banner day. Now, pray that I can put on 5lbs by March 16th, because I made a deal with the doc that if I can do that , Mr G-tube will be history. Yes, I finished the whole plate, and it was good. Psalm 20:5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.
Thank You, and imagine a great big hug from skinny ole me,
Old Jer
You know how I talked about things I missed during my treatment, like food and doing the things I like to do like cycling, surfing and disc golf and I decided that the thing that I missed the most was not seeing my friends and enjoying the relationships I have made from church. Well, this past week I realized one more thing that I missed and that is, I MISS MYSELF, and it pleases me to no end to announce that I'm back, not 100%, but I'm working on it.
What do I need prayer for? Well, as I already told you, I am generally feeling really good, however the mouth and throat are still an issue, but they are improving slightly, maybe better than slightly. I drank almost a quart of water by mouth yesterday, I had a scrambled egg with cheese and some potatoes for breakfast, then Kat and I split a breakfast burrito for lunch, I didn't do the tortilla, and then I had half of a chicken pocket from Costco. Actually I had what was inside the pocket, and I'm happy to report that it all tasted good. The taste buds are still functioning pretty well. Praise the Lord! However, my mouth and throat are still pretty sore and the mucous is still a problem, but they are getting better.
How could it get any better? Well, this morning I ate 2 fried eggs (over easy) and potatoes with cheese and a dash of Mrs. Renfros green salsa. It was soooo good. I had an appointment with the radiation doc this afternoon and basically he feels the tumor is gone, but he wants to do more thorough testing in 2 weeks when my mouth has healed more. He feels that he won't find anything. Kat and I left his office feeling really encouraged especially when he looked into my mouth and said it looked like nothing had happened in there and that there was quite a bit of saliva. Thank you prayer warriors. I know beyond a doubt that our God answers prayer. Listen to this, it just gets better. Kat, Josh and I then played a round of disc golf at a course in Irvine. Did I mention that my girlfriend got a hole in one? We were thoroughly impressed. Then, on the way home we stopped at In and Out and you got it, I ate a cheeseburger, protein style, that's with no bun, wrapped in lettuce, and it was delicious. I still have to wash each bite down with a little water, but, hey, at this point, who cares. Yes, it was a banner day. Now, pray that I can put on 5lbs by March 16th, because I made a deal with the doc that if I can do that , Mr G-tube will be history. Yes, I finished the whole plate, and it was good. Psalm 20:5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.
Thank You, and imagine a great big hug from skinny ole me,
Old Jer
Sunday, February 22, 2009
GROUNDHOG DAY REVISITED
Remember the movie Groundhog Day? It's about a guy who wakes up to the same newscast and the same experiences every day. Well, my life has been similar to that movie for quite a while now, at least it seems that way. I guess I'm just ready for the movie to end.
It has been 9 days since my last treatment and well, to be perfectly honest, it looks like the doctors were right again. You know I hate it when that happens, even though they aren't completely right yet, the effects of the radiation seem to keep on happening. At about 2pm every afternoon, my face gets flushed and I get hot and then cold just like when I was having treatments. I was told that this could last 2 to 3 weeks. My mouth and throat actually got worse last week, however, my general feeling is much better. The nausea has pretty much disappeared, my neck is healing up nicely and my weight is holding steady. I have to take in about 90 ozs. of fluid each day just to stay hydrated, that's a whole lot more than I'm use to drinking, but it's working. That should improve once the mucosas subsides. Let's just say, that's when I have to spit a lot. I feel really fortunate that I have been able to sleep really good. All in all, I'm looking forward to this next week. Things are looking up.
Quick story: Last Thursday Kat baked some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for Donovan's 30Th birthday, and did they smell gooood. So I had this great idea because I really wanted to just taste a cookie. Since I can't eat cookies, or any thing else right now, I thought if I just ground the cookie up in the blender with some milk I would be able to taste COOKIE. Well, it worked, kind of. I poured a small portion of the concoction into a glass and I took a swallow and it tasted like cookie, but it burned like crazy and I had to quickly wash it down with plain water, but it was worth it.
I wake up each morning to this wonderful song by Crystal Lewis. It's entitled "Lord I Believe In You." It's the best part of my Groundhog Day experience. This is the part that has really been ministering to me.
Lord I believe in you, I’ll always believe in you
Though I can’t see you with my eyes,
Deep in my heart your presence I find
Lord I believe in you, and I’ll keep my trust in you
Let the whole world say what they may
No one can take this joy away
Lord I believe.
Thank you everyone for your constant prayers and support. There is a light beaming at the end of the tunnel. He is my constant companion.
Lots of love and hugs,
Old Jer
It has been 9 days since my last treatment and well, to be perfectly honest, it looks like the doctors were right again. You know I hate it when that happens, even though they aren't completely right yet, the effects of the radiation seem to keep on happening. At about 2pm every afternoon, my face gets flushed and I get hot and then cold just like when I was having treatments. I was told that this could last 2 to 3 weeks. My mouth and throat actually got worse last week, however, my general feeling is much better. The nausea has pretty much disappeared, my neck is healing up nicely and my weight is holding steady. I have to take in about 90 ozs. of fluid each day just to stay hydrated, that's a whole lot more than I'm use to drinking, but it's working. That should improve once the mucosas subsides. Let's just say, that's when I have to spit a lot. I feel really fortunate that I have been able to sleep really good. All in all, I'm looking forward to this next week. Things are looking up.
Quick story: Last Thursday Kat baked some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for Donovan's 30Th birthday, and did they smell gooood. So I had this great idea because I really wanted to just taste a cookie. Since I can't eat cookies, or any thing else right now, I thought if I just ground the cookie up in the blender with some milk I would be able to taste COOKIE. Well, it worked, kind of. I poured a small portion of the concoction into a glass and I took a swallow and it tasted like cookie, but it burned like crazy and I had to quickly wash it down with plain water, but it was worth it.
I wake up each morning to this wonderful song by Crystal Lewis. It's entitled "Lord I Believe In You." It's the best part of my Groundhog Day experience. This is the part that has really been ministering to me.
Lord I believe in you, I’ll always believe in you
Though I can’t see you with my eyes,
Deep in my heart your presence I find
Lord I believe in you, and I’ll keep my trust in you
Let the whole world say what they may
No one can take this joy away
Lord I believe.
Thank you everyone for your constant prayers and support. There is a light beaming at the end of the tunnel. He is my constant companion.
Lots of love and hugs,
Old Jer
Sunday, February 15, 2009
THE LONGEST 7 WEEKS OF MY LIFE
There is no doubt about it, the past 7 weeks took at least 6 months to culminate. The only experience in my life that seemed to take longer was 8 weeks in marine boot camp, and that wasn't near as torturous, and the food wasn't half bad. Well, maybe it was half bad. Actually I gained 15 pounds in boot camp and I lost 15 pounds during this treatment. So now I guess I'm even. Oh my gosh, that was 44 years ago! Forget about it.
This past week was not an easy one for me. Not so much that I didn't feel very good, because I didn't, although I felt better than I did the previous week, I just found it really hard to get myself motivated to go to treatment for those final 5 days. Last Sun. was kind of a drag because I got really dehydrated. After tons of H2O and Gatorade I got my weight up to what it was on Fri. I have since learned that Pedialyte is the hot ticket for dehydration. I learned on Mon. that Dr. Wagner wanted to continue chemo for the final week. This was not a joyful noise to my ears, however I had already come to terms with the Lord. I told him that I would accept anything they threw at me this last week because I knew that everything had been sifted through his hands, and if the doc thought I needed it, than I probably did. Then came the scare. I walked into radiation treatment on Mon. and the tech took one look at my neck and said, "No way, you have to see the doc before I can treat you." I hadn't looked at my neck for a few hours, but what was happening was it was peeling and well, for lack of a better description, it looked very similar to my sons iguanas neck, dry and peeling. After a short discussion with the doc, he looks at me and says "Since you only have 5 days of treatment remaining I think you need to tough it out." That was sweet music to my ears. So again, thank you for all the prayers. My neck actually looked better every day thereafter.
So what happens now that treatment is over? Please continue your awesome prayers. This is where my body starts to heal from all of the abuse it received. I had a very emotional discussion with my chemo doc last Tues. He actually apologized for giving me such a radical treatment, but he felt that I could handle it and that it would be much more beneficial in my recovery. I would have said that he was just saying that to make me feel better if I didn't know that he is a cancer survivor himself. Actually the radiation keeps on working for about 2 to 3 weeks after treatment ends, so they told me not to expect any radical improvement until after that time frame. Well, I'll just have to disagree with that because I know that all things are possible with God. Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
So from now on I plan on keeping my eyes on the goal and focusing on getting my body healthy once again. Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Pressing on in love,
Old Jer
This past week was not an easy one for me. Not so much that I didn't feel very good, because I didn't, although I felt better than I did the previous week, I just found it really hard to get myself motivated to go to treatment for those final 5 days. Last Sun. was kind of a drag because I got really dehydrated. After tons of H2O and Gatorade I got my weight up to what it was on Fri. I have since learned that Pedialyte is the hot ticket for dehydration. I learned on Mon. that Dr. Wagner wanted to continue chemo for the final week. This was not a joyful noise to my ears, however I had already come to terms with the Lord. I told him that I would accept anything they threw at me this last week because I knew that everything had been sifted through his hands, and if the doc thought I needed it, than I probably did. Then came the scare. I walked into radiation treatment on Mon. and the tech took one look at my neck and said, "No way, you have to see the doc before I can treat you." I hadn't looked at my neck for a few hours, but what was happening was it was peeling and well, for lack of a better description, it looked very similar to my sons iguanas neck, dry and peeling. After a short discussion with the doc, he looks at me and says "Since you only have 5 days of treatment remaining I think you need to tough it out." That was sweet music to my ears. So again, thank you for all the prayers. My neck actually looked better every day thereafter.
So what happens now that treatment is over? Please continue your awesome prayers. This is where my body starts to heal from all of the abuse it received. I had a very emotional discussion with my chemo doc last Tues. He actually apologized for giving me such a radical treatment, but he felt that I could handle it and that it would be much more beneficial in my recovery. I would have said that he was just saying that to make me feel better if I didn't know that he is a cancer survivor himself. Actually the radiation keeps on working for about 2 to 3 weeks after treatment ends, so they told me not to expect any radical improvement until after that time frame. Well, I'll just have to disagree with that because I know that all things are possible with God. Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
So from now on I plan on keeping my eyes on the goal and focusing on getting my body healthy once again. Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Pressing on in love,
Old Jer
Saturday, February 7, 2009
TEAR DUCT MALFUNCTION
Can you believe this, Friday the 13th is my last day of treatment. Good news for me and bad luck for cancer. Dr Wagner did put me back on chemo last Tues. and it came through as usual and I felt terrible for a couple of days, but no break in treatment. The mouth is doing OK, although it feels like there's a current running through it now. Anybody need a jump start?
I believe it will make it 5 more days. My neck is peeling now, but it is also holding up well. Thank you for your prayers concerning these issues. You won't believe this, I know I can't believe it, but I am typing this with gloves on. Why am I wearing gloves, you ask? Darn good question. The truth is my hands have been freezing from the effects of the chemo, some neuro word.
I do have a strange sensation happening. I think that it is a side effect of all the drugs and radiation that they’re giving me. This one wasn’t mentioned on any of the, longer than a roll of Charmin, lists of side effects that they have given me. I think its TEAR DUCT MALFUNCTION. It seems that at any inopportune time my eyes begin to leak. When I think about people I miss, they leak. When I talk to people I love, they leak. When I talk to people I don’t even know, they leak. When I think about how wonderful my wife is, they leak. When I think about all my steadfast support, they leak. Will this side effect clear up after treatment? I don’t have an answer for that one, but I hope it improves, because sometimes it’s downright embarrassing, if you know what I mean.
I’m reminded in Luke chapter 7 of the time when Jesus was invited to the house of one of the Pharisees for dinner, when a woman who had led a sinful life found out that Jesus was going to be there. She brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Of course, she was ostracized by the Pharisee because she was a sinner. What the Pharisee didn’t know was that Jesus would use this opportune time to compare his treatment of Jesus to hers. The Pharisee didn’t even welcome Jesus with a kiss or wash his feet. Then Jesus told them, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven---for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “ Your sins are forgiven.”
These are not tears of sorrow, they are tears of gratitude, joy and thankfulness. Perhaps these tears aren’t an embarrassment after all.
Thank you Roger and Jim for the continued rides to treatment. You guys are the awesomest. I know, my girlfriend appreciates the much needed break. Thank you everyone for all the prayers and continued support.
Love and hugs,
Old Jer
I believe it will make it 5 more days. My neck is peeling now, but it is also holding up well. Thank you for your prayers concerning these issues. You won't believe this, I know I can't believe it, but I am typing this with gloves on. Why am I wearing gloves, you ask? Darn good question. The truth is my hands have been freezing from the effects of the chemo, some neuro word.
I do have a strange sensation happening. I think that it is a side effect of all the drugs and radiation that they’re giving me. This one wasn’t mentioned on any of the, longer than a roll of Charmin, lists of side effects that they have given me. I think its TEAR DUCT MALFUNCTION. It seems that at any inopportune time my eyes begin to leak. When I think about people I miss, they leak. When I talk to people I love, they leak. When I talk to people I don’t even know, they leak. When I think about how wonderful my wife is, they leak. When I think about all my steadfast support, they leak. Will this side effect clear up after treatment? I don’t have an answer for that one, but I hope it improves, because sometimes it’s downright embarrassing, if you know what I mean.
I’m reminded in Luke chapter 7 of the time when Jesus was invited to the house of one of the Pharisees for dinner, when a woman who had led a sinful life found out that Jesus was going to be there. She brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Of course, she was ostracized by the Pharisee because she was a sinner. What the Pharisee didn’t know was that Jesus would use this opportune time to compare his treatment of Jesus to hers. The Pharisee didn’t even welcome Jesus with a kiss or wash his feet. Then Jesus told them, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven---for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “ Your sins are forgiven.”
These are not tears of sorrow, they are tears of gratitude, joy and thankfulness. Perhaps these tears aren’t an embarrassment after all.
Thank you Roger and Jim for the continued rides to treatment. You guys are the awesomest. I know, my girlfriend appreciates the much needed break. Thank you everyone for all the prayers and continued support.
Love and hugs,
Old Jer
Sunday, February 1, 2009
SUPERBOWL SUNDAY
That's right, it's Superbowl Sunday and most everyone is gearing up for the big game. I was thinking how these two teams are preparing for battle. They have a head coach, assistant coaches, defensive coordinators, offensive coordinators and of course their loyal fans, all preparing for the game of games.
Guess what? I have been preparing for my game of games and I haven't been alone, I've got my team. However, I look at this battle in a little different light than the Superbowl players do. I have ten treatments remaining, that's two weeks and I'm heading into the fourth quarter and I believe that this is the time for my team to put on the full armor of God, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, however, we call it cancer. My head coach is the Lord. He gives me strength and hope and it's in him where I put my trust. I have many assistant coaches, numeral uno being my girlfriend, wife and best friend, the myriad of doctors prescribing the treatments that I've been receiving and all the nurses and technicians that have been administering the various treatments. My defensive coordinators are hard to beat. They start with the belt of truth firmly buckled around my waist, the breastplate of righteousness is in place, my feet have been fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this I've taken up the shield of faith that can extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. I have also added the helmet of salvation.
Who is the offensive coordinator? you ask. It's the sword of the Spirit, which is the mighty word of God, on which I firmly stand.
All of you, of course, are the loyal fans. Thank you for being there and thank you for your awesome prayers and support that have definitely helped sustain Kat and I through this journey.
As I begin this final phase of treatment, the doc wants to start the i.v. chemo up again on Tues. That would mean two more chemo treatments and ten radiation treatments. Pray for my mouth and throat as their condition will be paramount in completing the treatment as scheduled. My weight has been holding at about 177, so it's looking good. I haven't been too regular with this whole situation, but things have been a whole lot better since I drank some smooth move tea. That stuff really works. My neck looks like I've been out in the sun just a little too much, but hey, I've done that to myself before in the past. Tanya says that I'm now a true redneck.
Luke 12:7 says; Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Well, the numbers have decreased just a little on my head. I just thought that I'd do the Lord a favor and make it a little easier for Him to count the hairs on my head, because there are a few less in certain areas. The radiation has cut a swath across the back of my neck, so I now support a back of the head comb over. It's really not too bad, considering the alternative, and a whole lot better than Donald Trump's. Yes, we did hear from Joshua and he's having the time of his life in China with his best friend, and yes, the picture of boyfriend/girlfriend is from today.
God Bless,
Old Jer
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
DON'T BE CIRCUITOUS
Well, why do I always start with well,? Well, It Just works well I guess. Anyway it was a good weekend. I was able to maintain my weight pretty well. I got down some good smoothies and some supplemental drinks. I've been mainlining gatorade through the old G-tube, for hydration. Seems to work well.
You know, I got to thinking Sunday when Kat went to church, just how much I miss going to church. Now don't get me wrong, I love Pastor Roger and his messages, but that's not what I miss. Besides I hear his messages on the podcast. It' the people I miss. It's the hugs and prayers and hearing about changed lives that I miss. I missed the men's retreat this past weekend, but I'm hearing about great things that happened there.
Thank you Bob and Tanya for the great cards. It was so great to see you both.
Mon. was an OK day. After treatment I had a surprise. Mike V. was in the neighborhood and we had a great time talking about his trip to Hawaii and surfing 15 foot waves at Makaha. He also shared some of the great things that happened at the men's retreat. Then Kim came by to deliver some homemade soup. Kim is my dental hygienist from Kent Sanders office. Ever have potato/cauliflower, it's delicious.
Oh, by the way, Joshua is in China now. We're assuming he's having a great time. Although there hasn't been any communication yet. Tues. was a Hallelujah day. I was just praising the Lord for how good I felt. I did a few things around the house like resurfacing the driveway and such requests from my girlfriend. I even drove to San Diego airport to pick Steve up from his return trip to Colorado. Today was an off day. I didn't feel too good when I returned from treatment, so I took a nap. I feel better now. Like I said before, every day is different.
OK, what's circuitous got to do with anything. Well, It's a new word for me. It means round about, not direct. A good example of this is; when we travel the path seeking the Kingdom Of God, we can choose the high path, which is following Him and trusting Him in everything we do, or we can take the circuitous path which is the low path that curves and twists around while we follow our own understanding, becoming lost and weighed down. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I'd like to leave you with this final thought. Before I started treatment, because of my advanced age and my prolonged exposure to the sun throughout the years, I likened my sun damaged skin to that of a wrinkly grape. Still kind of smooth is some places, but pretty wrinkly in most. Well now I can honestly say that there has been a radical change. I no longer look like a wrinkly grape, I have now evolved into a dried up old raisin. Praise God!! Only 12 treatments left.
Many hugs and much love,
Old Jer
You know, I got to thinking Sunday when Kat went to church, just how much I miss going to church. Now don't get me wrong, I love Pastor Roger and his messages, but that's not what I miss. Besides I hear his messages on the podcast. It' the people I miss. It's the hugs and prayers and hearing about changed lives that I miss. I missed the men's retreat this past weekend, but I'm hearing about great things that happened there.
Thank you Bob and Tanya for the great cards. It was so great to see you both.
Mon. was an OK day. After treatment I had a surprise. Mike V. was in the neighborhood and we had a great time talking about his trip to Hawaii and surfing 15 foot waves at Makaha. He also shared some of the great things that happened at the men's retreat. Then Kim came by to deliver some homemade soup. Kim is my dental hygienist from Kent Sanders office. Ever have potato/cauliflower, it's delicious.
Oh, by the way, Joshua is in China now. We're assuming he's having a great time. Although there hasn't been any communication yet. Tues. was a Hallelujah day. I was just praising the Lord for how good I felt. I did a few things around the house like resurfacing the driveway and such requests from my girlfriend. I even drove to San Diego airport to pick Steve up from his return trip to Colorado. Today was an off day. I didn't feel too good when I returned from treatment, so I took a nap. I feel better now. Like I said before, every day is different.
OK, what's circuitous got to do with anything. Well, It's a new word for me. It means round about, not direct. A good example of this is; when we travel the path seeking the Kingdom Of God, we can choose the high path, which is following Him and trusting Him in everything we do, or we can take the circuitous path which is the low path that curves and twists around while we follow our own understanding, becoming lost and weighed down. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I'd like to leave you with this final thought. Before I started treatment, because of my advanced age and my prolonged exposure to the sun throughout the years, I likened my sun damaged skin to that of a wrinkly grape. Still kind of smooth is some places, but pretty wrinkly in most. Well now I can honestly say that there has been a radical change. I no longer look like a wrinkly grape, I have now evolved into a dried up old raisin. Praise God!! Only 12 treatments left.
Many hugs and much love,
Old Jer
Saturday, January 24, 2009
T.G.I.S.
I am so glad it's Saturday. This was a very interesting week. As you know, I started using the G-tube. At first I thought that I would be supplementing in between my regular meals. (You know, whatever we run through the blender.) Well, that plan was scrapped from the get go. The way the radiology doc put it was that my mouth looked like they usually look on about the last week of treatment. Not so good. But the good news is because chemo has been put on hold temporarily, I was able to finish out the week of radiation and today my mouth feels much better. I was actually able to drink an oatmeal smoothie. It was good too! So next week will be a day to day adventure. I have 15 more treatments. Pray that I can get through another week without a break in the radiation treatments. If I have to take a break it will only extend the end date. The doc feels that I will have to take a break. I really want him to be wrong. I hate it when he's right.
Today has been a really good day. Not just health wise, but it's been exciting watching Joshua preparing for his China trip. He heads out tonight for 15 days. He's really excited to see Brooke and we're excited for both of them. Just in case you don't know, Brooke and Joshua are well, an item. Brooke has been studying Mandarin and doing some tutoring with preschoolers. She has been there for five months now and has about six more months to go before she returns home. We miss her too. Hi Brooke, We love you.
Steve flew out to Colorado to visit and do some snowboarding with his friend Gary. He'll be returning Tues. evening. His shoulder has healed really well and he has lots of work to keep him busy when he returns. We are truly thankful. for both of our boys.
I am so thankful for all the wonderful comments on the blog and e-mails.
Believe me, when things get a little rough, I cry out to the Lord and his people come to my rescue. Some call, some write, some e-mail and some just show up and bless me. Thank you everyone for your support, love and prayers.
I cherish you all,
Old Jer
Today has been a really good day. Not just health wise, but it's been exciting watching Joshua preparing for his China trip. He heads out tonight for 15 days. He's really excited to see Brooke and we're excited for both of them. Just in case you don't know, Brooke and Joshua are well, an item. Brooke has been studying Mandarin and doing some tutoring with preschoolers. She has been there for five months now and has about six more months to go before she returns home. We miss her too. Hi Brooke, We love you.
Steve flew out to Colorado to visit and do some snowboarding with his friend Gary. He'll be returning Tues. evening. His shoulder has healed really well and he has lots of work to keep him busy when he returns. We are truly thankful. for both of our boys.
I am so thankful for all the wonderful comments on the blog and e-mails.
Believe me, when things get a little rough, I cry out to the Lord and his people come to my rescue. Some call, some write, some e-mail and some just show up and bless me. Thank you everyone for your support, love and prayers.
I cherish you all,
Old Jer
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A LITTLE REPRIEVE
Note the sunset view from two nights ago. The view has been 100% improved thanks to our friend Gary Story and his son in law Rocky. They trimmed our neighbors ficus tree that had been blocking the view for years now. Thank you so much.Well, I just had to share the newest development
in my treatment. Things can change so quickly.
As I had shared, my mouth has become very irritated. To the point of bleeding a little. Went in for my Tues. chemo yesterday and the doc took a look at my mouth and throat and immediately made a decision to halt the chemo for at least a week, but to continue radiation. Remember, radiation is the primary treatment. We're hoping that the condition will improve so I won't have to postpone any radiation. It already feels a little improved this morning, not to mention no nausea.
The new supplement that Dan and Donna Vigil gave me seems to be doing the trick. I'm slowly putting lbs. back on. This stuff is incredible. It has 450 calories per 8oz. I'm not eating anything by mouth right now to allow healing. Mr G-tube is doing his job. I can drink fluids OK though.
Just one more thing. Today marks the halfway point in my treatment. Seventeen more days after today. Almost time for a happy dance.
Thank you again for you prayers. We give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
Love and many many hugs,
Old Jer
Monday, January 19, 2009
NEARING THE HALFWAY POINT
I'm not really sure just where to begin. It seems like every day is so different. It makes me realize just how important it is to live in the moment. When friends stop by and visit, I no longer find myself thinking about what I'm going to be doing when they leave. I try to savor each moment that we're spending together. You see, Jesus tells us in scripture, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. When it's all said and done, all that really matters, did I love others and did I live my life for You.
It's Monday morning about 10:30 now, my friend Patrick just stopped by to talk and pray. What a sweet time it was.
So here's the update: Wed. Thurs and Fri. Didn't have nausea quite so bad but the sore mouth issue is becoming more pronounced. I can still eat certain soft foods, but just swallowing sometimes irritates the roof of my mouth and throat. Thanks to my girlfriend, and the blender, I've been able to eat, or should I say swallow food more easily. Since radiation and chemo both cause mouth issues, and radiation being the primary treatment, the chemo doc has me holding off on the oral chemo for now. Perhaps the reason for less nausea.
Yesterday, a home visit nurse came by to instrust me on the proper usage of my G-tube. You know, Mr G-tube who I don' get along with very well. In fact, I don't even like him. Well now it's a love /hate relationship. Yes the macho part of me that said no way am I going to use a feeding tube, has had a slap of reality. I need the extra nutrients if I am going to maintain a healthy weight. I appreciate your prayers on this issue.
So there you go, today I will only receive radiation because the chemo doc's office recognized MLK day and gave every body the day off. They deserve it. There is now a note taped to our front door instructing every one who enters these premises to wash their hands before hugging me. Orders from nurse Talar. Thank you Talar for how much you care, and I can harldy stand it thinking about the middle eastern cousine we will enjoy when this passes.
Thank you everyone for your continued prayers for Kat and I. Please lift up our boys, Steve and Joshua. They both need the assurance that every one is doing the best that they can do and ultimamely it is God who is in control.
Old Jer
It's Monday morning about 10:30 now, my friend Patrick just stopped by to talk and pray. What a sweet time it was.
So here's the update: Wed. Thurs and Fri. Didn't have nausea quite so bad but the sore mouth issue is becoming more pronounced. I can still eat certain soft foods, but just swallowing sometimes irritates the roof of my mouth and throat. Thanks to my girlfriend, and the blender, I've been able to eat, or should I say swallow food more easily. Since radiation and chemo both cause mouth issues, and radiation being the primary treatment, the chemo doc has me holding off on the oral chemo for now. Perhaps the reason for less nausea.
Yesterday, a home visit nurse came by to instrust me on the proper usage of my G-tube. You know, Mr G-tube who I don' get along with very well. In fact, I don't even like him. Well now it's a love /hate relationship. Yes the macho part of me that said no way am I going to use a feeding tube, has had a slap of reality. I need the extra nutrients if I am going to maintain a healthy weight. I appreciate your prayers on this issue.
So there you go, today I will only receive radiation because the chemo doc's office recognized MLK day and gave every body the day off. They deserve it. There is now a note taped to our front door instructing every one who enters these premises to wash their hands before hugging me. Orders from nurse Talar. Thank you Talar for how much you care, and I can harldy stand it thinking about the middle eastern cousine we will enjoy when this passes.
Thank you everyone for your continued prayers for Kat and I. Please lift up our boys, Steve and Joshua. They both need the assurance that every one is doing the best that they can do and ultimamely it is God who is in control.
Old Jer
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
MID WEEK UPDATE
I have been really stoked to hear how many friends look forward to the updates. Believe me, I am blessed every time I do one. Call it therapeutic I guess. The weekend was really pretty good. Not great, but good. I've never watched so much football on T.V. It's new for my girlfriend too. Pray for her sanity. It was really good to talk to my dad on Sunday. He's not a computer person, but I know for sure that my sister, Cathy, put the blog address on his favorites. Hope he gets to it.
Thank you Adolph's for the delicious potato soup. I actually ate some salad too. Oh yeah, I devoured the ice cream. Christine, tell Lauren the brownies were delicious. Thank you sweetheart. I'm excited to hear your worship songs Alexandra. I hope we can all get together soon and worship together. Erik my brother, you can be really proud of your family. You are all a living testimony to Christ.
I thought Mon. would be a better day than it was. For one thing it was really hot and for another I just didn't feel right. I felt OK until after radiation. Maybe it's because my mouth is starting to really go off. What I mean by that is; it's getting pretty burned inside. They promised me that I would feel those effects between week 2 and 3. Right on Dr. Damore. I hate it when the Docs are right. Actually my chemo Dr. gave me some scripts for some killer mouthwash that has lidocaine in it. For now it works pretty good. More modern advances through chemicals. I'm just going to have to get over it. I almost forgot. I'm Captain Chemo.
Today was my third chemo treatment and I actually do feel pretty good. Kat suggested that I go trim some trees in the back yard. And I thought that she was the sensitive one. {this is Kat here and I can't believe he said that!!! I suggested that he re-surface the driveway :o) --please continue to pray for my sweet boyfriend that he is protected from some of the night mare side effects--I love you all and cherish your prayers for Jer and I xoxoxo}
It was good to hear your voice Dale. Thanks for the call. Marshall, I'm serious about the ukulele
lessons. You'll have to do the singing though.
I was reminded today to put on the full armor of God. For some reason, today, standing firm with the belt of truth buckled around my waist was the focus of my thoughts. (Eph. 6:10-18)
I am so thankful for God's Word. Aren't you?
Signing out for now with many many hugs,
Old Jer
Thank you Adolph's for the delicious potato soup. I actually ate some salad too. Oh yeah, I devoured the ice cream. Christine, tell Lauren the brownies were delicious. Thank you sweetheart. I'm excited to hear your worship songs Alexandra. I hope we can all get together soon and worship together. Erik my brother, you can be really proud of your family. You are all a living testimony to Christ.
I thought Mon. would be a better day than it was. For one thing it was really hot and for another I just didn't feel right. I felt OK until after radiation. Maybe it's because my mouth is starting to really go off. What I mean by that is; it's getting pretty burned inside. They promised me that I would feel those effects between week 2 and 3. Right on Dr. Damore. I hate it when the Docs are right. Actually my chemo Dr. gave me some scripts for some killer mouthwash that has lidocaine in it. For now it works pretty good. More modern advances through chemicals. I'm just going to have to get over it. I almost forgot. I'm Captain Chemo.
Today was my third chemo treatment and I actually do feel pretty good. Kat suggested that I go trim some trees in the back yard. And I thought that she was the sensitive one. {this is Kat here and I can't believe he said that!!! I suggested that he re-surface the driveway :o) --please continue to pray for my sweet boyfriend that he is protected from some of the night mare side effects--I love you all and cherish your prayers for Jer and I xoxoxo}
It was good to hear your voice Dale. Thanks for the call. Marshall, I'm serious about the ukulele
lessons. You'll have to do the singing though.
I was reminded today to put on the full armor of God. For some reason, today, standing firm with the belt of truth buckled around my waist was the focus of my thoughts. (Eph. 6:10-18)
I am so thankful for God's Word. Aren't you?
Signing out for now with many many hugs,
Old Jer
Saturday, January 10, 2009
2 DOWN AND 5 TO GO
It's Sat. morning and I just enjoyed a nice large bowl of hot oats. It's actually the first food that has tasted good since Tues. I can tell that things are changing. Like my mouth is starting to become a little sensitive, like a light sunburn inside. The last three days have been a little rough. The nausea seems to be more severe for two to three days following chemo. It just makes it hard to eat. I'll tell you one thing, this sure gives me a whole new appreciation for pregnant women who suffer from nausea. It's not fun. However I have a promise that this too shall pass.
This Fri. marked the end of my second week of treatment. Only five to go. I've got a new slogan. TGIS. Thank God it's Saturday. No iv's, no pills and no radiation.
Once again our friends came through to make a rough time a whole lot smoother. Terry Martin, I enjoyed your company so much last Tues. I think talking about old times and surfing helps keep everything on a positive note. Thanks for the ride. Wed. was probably my roughest day, only to be blessed out of my socks Wed. night. Nancy and Joel Severson and Annie Kilroy came over to pray and worship. It was a wonderful special time. The Holy Spirit was at work. I was even able to sing, and I felt good the whole time. I am still able to sleep good. That is really a blessing. Jeff and Cathy Girard, thanks for dropping by. It is so good to see friends. It really does lift my spirits. You guys are truly appreciated. Thank you for the cards. Thank you Pastor Roger for your continued prayers. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. Kat and I Love and appreciate each one of you.
Just a little side note. I'm sure you all know what a co-dependent is. I always liked the analogy of a co-dependent as being someone when you die your whole life flashes before their eyes. Well, I've got three new ones and they all happened this week and they just happen to be with three of my closest (female) friends. Number one is of course my best friend Kat. I've got cancer and her hair is falling out. Number two would be Tanya LLoyd. I've got cancer and she is throwing up. I do hope you're feeling better. Number three, well, that would be good ole Annie Kilroy. The other night she was praying for me in the Spirit and guess who fell to the floor? It wasn't me. Thank you guys for loving me so much. Now do I have any takers for dry mouth?
Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This Fri. marked the end of my second week of treatment. Only five to go. I've got a new slogan. TGIS. Thank God it's Saturday. No iv's, no pills and no radiation.
Once again our friends came through to make a rough time a whole lot smoother. Terry Martin, I enjoyed your company so much last Tues. I think talking about old times and surfing helps keep everything on a positive note. Thanks for the ride. Wed. was probably my roughest day, only to be blessed out of my socks Wed. night. Nancy and Joel Severson and Annie Kilroy came over to pray and worship. It was a wonderful special time. The Holy Spirit was at work. I was even able to sing, and I felt good the whole time. I am still able to sleep good. That is really a blessing. Jeff and Cathy Girard, thanks for dropping by. It is so good to see friends. It really does lift my spirits. You guys are truly appreciated. Thank you for the cards. Thank you Pastor Roger for your continued prayers. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. Kat and I Love and appreciate each one of you.
Just a little side note. I'm sure you all know what a co-dependent is. I always liked the analogy of a co-dependent as being someone when you die your whole life flashes before their eyes. Well, I've got three new ones and they all happened this week and they just happen to be with three of my closest (female) friends. Number one is of course my best friend Kat. I've got cancer and her hair is falling out. Number two would be Tanya LLoyd. I've got cancer and she is throwing up. I do hope you're feeling better. Number three, well, that would be good ole Annie Kilroy. The other night she was praying for me in the Spirit and guess who fell to the floor? It wasn't me. Thank you guys for loving me so much. Now do I have any takers for dry mouth?
Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Love,
Old Jer
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
IT WAS A GOOD DAY!
Today was my second session of chemo. By the grace of God only 5 more to go. Today was a good day. Kat drove me to Laguna Beach at 9:30am. They plug in the i.v. right away and start to hydrate my system and add some anti-nausea meds and some kind of steroid. I have to tell you, the extra hydration has really helped. Then comes the Chemo. It takes about 90 mins. Then they hydrate me some more. Then I get a shot that helps save my salivary glands from damage from the radiation. It's now 12:30.
Today was a special treat driving to radiation. Joshua, my baby boy, drove me. He got to see the super way out machine. Looks like it's from Star Trek. I am really lucky though in one respect. I am literally bolted down to the table with this mask device they molded for me. Very necessary so I don't move. Why am I lucky? You ask. Well number one, I'm not claustrophobic. Some people have to take Valium or something to help them relax. Number two, I actually fell asleep for about 8 minutes of the 10 minute treatment. We got out of there at about 1:30. So you can see Tues. is a pretty intense day. Joshua then treated me to a frozen yogurt. My other days are about one and a half hours less.
It's good to be off the antibiotics. Even though nausea is still an issue, Dr. Wagner is doing a good job regulating all the meds. The weight issue was concerning me this weekend. I just wasn't able to eat enough to maintain. Dropped about 7 lbs. But since I have been feeling better I've been able to add 3 more back on. Thank you for all the prayers. James 5:16 says...Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Today was a special treat driving to radiation. Joshua, my baby boy, drove me. He got to see the super way out machine. Looks like it's from Star Trek. I am really lucky though in one respect. I am literally bolted down to the table with this mask device they molded for me. Very necessary so I don't move. Why am I lucky? You ask. Well number one, I'm not claustrophobic. Some people have to take Valium or something to help them relax. Number two, I actually fell asleep for about 8 minutes of the 10 minute treatment. We got out of there at about 1:30. So you can see Tues. is a pretty intense day. Joshua then treated me to a frozen yogurt. My other days are about one and a half hours less.
It's good to be off the antibiotics. Even though nausea is still an issue, Dr. Wagner is doing a good job regulating all the meds. The weight issue was concerning me this weekend. I just wasn't able to eat enough to maintain. Dropped about 7 lbs. But since I have been feeling better I've been able to add 3 more back on. Thank you for all the prayers. James 5:16 says...Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Also a heartfelt thanks to my friends Jim and Mary Stephens. You guys are truly awesome. I couldn't believe the timing. His timing is always prefect. The soup, the biscuits, the magazines, and of course, the ice cream. Same to you Nancy Severson. The soup was great and I could eat the toasted bread by letting it soak in the soup. Got really full. It felt good.
I'll try to check back in this weekend. I love and appreciate every one of you.
Old Jer
Thursday, January 1, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR
First of all, thank you family and friends for all of your support and prayers. The last few days have been interesting, to say the least. I started my treatment on Mon. the 29th. It went pretty much as planned. However, what was not planned was getting an infection in my G-tube, aka feeding tube. Kat and I visited the gastro doc after my radiation treatment. He told us had I not gone in when I did I probably would have had to have been hospitalized and had the tube removed. He put me on some pretty potent antibiotics, which I don't really like, but they seem to be doing the trick.
Tuesday was my first chemo. It was a long day. Kat brought lunch to the chemo lounge and that was good. Then off to radiation. That whole process is pretty trippy, but the techs are really nice and professional. I am so thankful for my wife/girlfriend/best friend. She is a trooper.
Wed., I drove myself. Hooray! Everything went well. I had my weekly meeting with the radiation oncologist. He felt that I was already getting results. Apparently the lymph node in my neck was already shrinking. That's a good thing! Things went a little downhill after I got home. I've never really experienced nausea before, but I think I know what it is now. I've got so many chemicals is my system, who knows which one is causing it. Reminds me of an old friend from the 60's. His name was Bill and everywhere he went he had a bag of pills and offered them to everyone. Well, I hated pills and besides you never knew what they were. Anyway, we nicknamed him CAPTAIN CHEMICAL. You can call me CAPTAIN CHEMO. I'm doing OK. Eating is a little difficult, but I'm getting enough food down for now. I started this adventure out at 185.8 lbs. My goal is to not lose more than 10lbs.
It was wonderful to see our friends Wes and Amber Kerr. Wes is now a 13 year veteran in the Navy. He's a Lieutenant and lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I'm really proud of him. Before he and his beautiful wife Amber got married 7 years ago, Wes would spend weekends at our house just hanging out with Josh and us.
Today was treatment day off. Watched USC destroy Penn St. Tomorrow is a radiation only day. Then the weekend off.
Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.
I couldn't imagine going through this without the Lord,
Old Jer
Tuesday was my first chemo. It was a long day. Kat brought lunch to the chemo lounge and that was good. Then off to radiation. That whole process is pretty trippy, but the techs are really nice and professional. I am so thankful for my wife/girlfriend/best friend. She is a trooper.
Wed., I drove myself. Hooray! Everything went well. I had my weekly meeting with the radiation oncologist. He felt that I was already getting results. Apparently the lymph node in my neck was already shrinking. That's a good thing! Things went a little downhill after I got home. I've never really experienced nausea before, but I think I know what it is now. I've got so many chemicals is my system, who knows which one is causing it. Reminds me of an old friend from the 60's. His name was Bill and everywhere he went he had a bag of pills and offered them to everyone. Well, I hated pills and besides you never knew what they were. Anyway, we nicknamed him CAPTAIN CHEMICAL. You can call me CAPTAIN CHEMO. I'm doing OK. Eating is a little difficult, but I'm getting enough food down for now. I started this adventure out at 185.8 lbs. My goal is to not lose more than 10lbs.
It was wonderful to see our friends Wes and Amber Kerr. Wes is now a 13 year veteran in the Navy. He's a Lieutenant and lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I'm really proud of him. Before he and his beautiful wife Amber got married 7 years ago, Wes would spend weekends at our house just hanging out with Josh and us.
Today was treatment day off. Watched USC destroy Penn St. Tomorrow is a radiation only day. Then the weekend off.
Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.
I couldn't imagine going through this without the Lord,
Old Jer
Thursday, December 25, 2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's Christmas day and I see sunshine, not rain. Isn't it a shame that it takes this day for most of the stores to close and force families to spend time together. I am truly blessed to have all my family together today.
Well, I have a new friend. Mr. G-tube. He's kind of attached himself to me. I'm not so sure that I really like him at this time, but I'm trying to give him a chance. You know, love your enemies. Bob LLoyd thinks I should use it as a surfboard leash??
One of our family traditions at Christmas is enjoying a dinner prepared by none other than our youngest son, Joshua. Last year it was Christmas goose. What a treat. This year we're looking forward to cornish game hens.
Please pray for a complete recovery for my friend Russ Stillwell. He just had a 3 way bypass after suffering a major heart attack. I understand that he is doing well and was even able to get up for a short time today. Praise God! He is currently at Veterans hospital in West L.A. Russ is Paul Jacksons father inlaw and Alicia's Dad from the famous Zacchaeus Tree Band.
I'd like to close with a wonderful psalm today - - - - - - - - - Psalm 107:23-31 (New Living Translation)
Some went off to sea in ships, plying the trade routes of the world. They, too, observed the Lord’s power in action, his impressive works on the deepest seas. He spoke, and the winds rose, stirring up the waves. Their ships were tossed to the heavens and plunged again to the depths; the sailors cringed in terror. They reeled and staggered like drunkards and were at their wits’ end. “Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor! Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
Well, I have a new friend. Mr. G-tube. He's kind of attached himself to me. I'm not so sure that I really like him at this time, but I'm trying to give him a chance. You know, love your enemies. Bob LLoyd thinks I should use it as a surfboard leash??
One of our family traditions at Christmas is enjoying a dinner prepared by none other than our youngest son, Joshua. Last year it was Christmas goose. What a treat. This year we're looking forward to cornish game hens.
Please pray for a complete recovery for my friend Russ Stillwell. He just had a 3 way bypass after suffering a major heart attack. I understand that he is doing well and was even able to get up for a short time today. Praise God! He is currently at Veterans hospital in West L.A. Russ is Paul Jacksons father inlaw and Alicia's Dad from the famous Zacchaeus Tree Band.
I'd like to close with a wonderful psalm today - - - - - - - - - Psalm 107:23-31 (New Living Translation)
Some went off to sea in ships, plying the trade routes of the world. They, too, observed the Lord’s power in action, his impressive works on the deepest seas. He spoke, and the winds rose, stirring up the waves. Their ships were tossed to the heavens and plunged again to the depths; the sailors cringed in terror. They reeled and staggered like drunkards and were at their wits’ end. “Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor! Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
Let's all praise and thank Him today,
Old Jer
Monday, December 22, 2008
MERRY
CHRISTMAS
May the true reason for the season be your focus this time of year. As Kat and I prepare to celebrate the birth of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, we are preparing to go into battle also. On Nov. 5, 2008 I was diagnosed with tonsilar cancer. It started in my right tonsil and spread to the lymph nodes in the right side of my neck. Fortunately, it is localized there. On Nov 4, the E.N.T. surgeon removed an enlarged node from my neck. It proved to be cancerous, so the next step was to remove my tonsils and to take other biopsies from my tongue and throat. I was told it wouldn' be too bad if I enjoyed having the worse sore throat I'd ever had, not being able to eat for a couple of weeks, sleeping occasionally, and oh yeah, talking just wasn't happening either. But the up side, I lost 15 pounds.
Then I had a petscan. It's like a catscan with a radio isotope injected into you. It shows where the cancer is in your body. It showed that it was localized on the right side of my neck. After over 20 visits to docs and techs, 3 surgeries and one more due on Dec. 24, I will begin my treatment on Dec. 29th. Treatment will consist of radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks and chemo 1 day a week for 8 weeks.
This blog thing is kind of new to me, but I will try to keep it updated at least once a week, Lord willing.
I just want to thank all of our friends, all of my family and God's family for all the support and love that you have shown us. Thank you for all the prayers that have helped sustain us. I am truly gloriously overwhelmed.
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